I See....

To observe is to take in something in its entirety, but do we ever do that for ourselves?

What do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror every day?

For me, I see a fighter.

I see someone who wakes up every morning and perseveres despite whatever occurrence or difficulty may be happening.

I see beauty, strength, and love.

I see a soul so desperate to love and be loved, to have other people feel seen, and to feel seen by others as well.

I see a woman who has endless layers inside her heart and mind but often can’t find the energy or the words to explain them all.

I. See. Me.

As I reflect upon my observations, I had the immediate desire to ask others the same question, “What do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror every day?”. I specifically chose to ask a group of people close in age to me who have the same genetic condition, Oculofaciocardiodental (OFCD). As I read through the responses one by one, what I ended up finding was a beautiful concept: while every individual in the group identifies under a condition that makes us each 1 in a million, we are all drastically different from one another in our own unique ways. When anyone looks in the mirror, our perception of what we see is altered by a number of factors. From stress levels and current circumstances to sleep, time, and self-identity, outlook on life has no set of rules or boundaries but is rather a free range of perception and belief. Our perception of all things changes over time through growth, experiences, news/media, and even the opinions and beliefs of others around us.

As I asked members of the group, I got a variety of responses, each of them powerful in their own ways. Emily sees a confident, strong, beautiful woman; Theo (@theomblue), finally beginning to see who he has always wanted to; Sarah, a survivor. As they all dove deeper into their responses, there was a congruent pattern of adversity of which they have all experienced. Despite what they may see in the mirror, past obstacles, encounters, and difficulties still remain. Emily stated, “I do have days when I wish I was different. I wish I could be thinner or stronger or prettier. I wish my vision was better or that I didn’t have to wear glasses every day”. Theo voiced similar frustration at times towards the way people have treated him, while Sarah remembered the names she has been called throughout the majority of her life.

Throughout each person’s reflection, including my own, I noticed a consistent theme of positive to negative to positive. When anyone is asked what they see when they look in the mirror, it’s almost instinctual to come up with a positive word or two that you think might be a socially acceptable answer. However, the minute someone takes the thought process of their reflection a step further, they are then able to dig past the surfaced feelings, thoughts, and opinions that may be built up about themselves. They see the good, the bad, the hurting, and the growing; they see the progress. They go through the rollercoaster of emotions to see that through the initial negative lens in which we may view ourselves through, we can also discover the positivity as well, again leading back to our perception.

As they finalized their thoughts, the once-experienced adversities quickly began to be seen in a new, hopeful light. Emily concluded her continuous efforts towards self-love, explaining “self love is a journey without a destination”, as she is constantly working on learning and growing every day. Theo continued his reflection, sharing how “learning how to trust, honour, and forgive myself takes so much work”, all while noting that he is worth that time and effort. Leah (@leah_chandler_13), another individual with OFCD, confidently concluded her belief that “falling in love with yourself is the key to happiness”.

"....self love is a journey without a destination."

- Emily Deutchman (@emily.deutchman)

Now it’s your turn to answer. What do you see when you look in the mirror?

REFLECT

When you really take a step back and think about it, how is your current perspective? What do YOU see when you look in the mirror? Try and put aside the responses you just read and really take a moment or two to look into the mirror and observe yourself. While it will likely feel uncomfortable, it could unquestionably lead to a beautiful new revelation about yourself that you may have not previously known! Set a timer to spend time with yourself at some point in the upcoming days. How do you feel? Write down what you saw in the mirror and all of the potential feelings that came along with it.

Positive self-talk is a vital concept of our everyday lives. What we think, we create. So, when we turn our mind to the good, we see the good follow. No matter how overused or cliche this my all sound, self-talk helps guide multiple other factors in our life!

Find your power, see the good, and be you!