We often hear “different is normal” or “normal is boring!”, but actual differences, such as having a physical difference or a visible disability, have not always been accepted, included, and welcomed within society.
In this blog, I will be talking about living differently because it can often feel pretty challenging to really feel good about ourselves and feel as though we can fit into society when we’re constantly told that we’re different.
I want to start out by broadening the experiences I share for these posts to outside of my own. So, I asked three people what they love about being different and their answers may surprise you:
“I love being different from society’s norms because I have a story.”
“My favourite thing about being “different” from society’s norms has to be that it challenges what we think we know about our communities and ourselves.”
The third answer started out with, “what is ‘society’s norms’? what is normal? Who actually knows.” She continues on to say, “the thing is with people is that they look at other people as if they are looking in a mirror, expecting everyone to be the same, but when they don’t, something is more noticeable, and we’d be seen as ‘different’. I feel like I stand out in a world where a lot of people try to blend in! But mainly I like to call it unique, and that I’m different, to make a difference, to spread awareness and make people realize that I am still human!”
Someone recently asked me why I decided to go without my prosthetic eye and how that process was for me. It was really interesting to actually sit back and think about my answer because I had become so used to my decision. While I always knew I was different based on society’s standards, I also knew going without my eye could increase that noticeability and that said, “difference”, as well. Honestly, for most of my life, I was very hesitant to identify myself under the term ‘disabled’. I strongly believe this discomfort directly stemmed from stigmas and stereotypes of certain groups of people that are developed within society. I eventually came to terms with this identity, realizing that my disability is beautiful and deciding that I’m done with hiding my real self.
So, during quarantine, as the world was on pause and we ultimately had the choice of who we were in touch with, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to try to go without my prosthetic. I slowly stopped wearing my eye while gradually showing it to more people both in-person and on social media. I made the difficult decision and took the leap of faith to step out of hiding. At that point in my life, I felt as though I was hiding behind my prosthetic and that I needed time to become more comfortable and confident with my natural self. Ultimately, this ended up being one of the best decisions I have made because it allowed me to find myself while connecting with what I had been trying to run away from for most of my life.
When it comes down to it, society has made it incredibly challenging for anyone with a visible difference to feel as though they fit in and can stand alongside others. It has also become common for society to automatically identify if one is increasingly different from others. However, when it really comes down to it, disability doesn’t mean different. As one of the respondents stated, we are unique WITH a difference TO make a difference. Ultimately, everyone has their differences, ours are just more visible to the world than others. Everyone has a story, challenges, insecurities, and weaknesses, it just happens to be that those with visible differences wear some of those scars and those wounds for the world to see and learn from. Our scars and our differences are our stories being told to those around us, and that is a beautiful thing.
Something that I have found within my own experiences and the challenges of living differently is that the things we don’t think highly of about ourselves are the exact things that leave an impact on others. So, for me, having initially believed that my eyes don’t have much of an impact and that I don’t highly favor them ultimately led me to realize that my eyes are exactly what helps others relate to me. I strongly believe that having a difference is not a coincidence but is rather highly intentional in that it allows for the right people to be establishing equality, kindness, empathy, and change within the world.
What we see as different and less than is exactly what is providing education, bringing communities together, and telling stories to those who need to hear them.
REFLECT:
What are you hiding from? I encourage you to identify at least one thing you feel as though you are hiding, either from yourself or from others.